It's one of those sad occasions where the bringing together of funny people mysteriously negates their ability to be funny.
- Jim Schembri, 3AW, September 15, 2012
The Watch is indeed a feathered fish. It's a freaking underwater ostrich. Whether or not it will appeal to all four quadrants is of little concern to any viewer lucky enough to be located within its niche demographic, however.
- Simon Miraudo, Quickflix, September 12, 2012
Four likeable guys and fine screen actors make a meal of this loony, gross-out sci-fi comedy, but you wonder if it isn't time for them to leave behind juvenile alley
- Andrew L. Urban, Urban Cinefile, September 10, 2012
Bursting with penis jokes, this low-laugh, low-brow comedy hovers somewhere between mash-up and alien mush
- Louise Keller, Urban Cinefile, September 10, 2012
This little-green-men mash-up shows that in space, no one can hear you laugh.
- Ed Gibbs, The Sunday Age, September 09, 2012
Stiller, Vaughn, Hill and Ayoade muster their comedic powers in a bid to save the script. They almost pull it off - but they've all been in better.
- , Film4, August 29, 2012
It's got a cast to kill for, a Seth Rogen/Evan Goldberg script (they wrote Superbad) and a promisingly Ghostbusters-ish premise. And yet it's catastrophic.
- Catherine Shoard, Guardian [UK], August 23, 2012
All the bromancing back-slapping can't hide the quartet's crippling lack of screen chemistry, while frights, and laughs, are non-existent.
- James Lachno, Daily Telegraph, August 23, 2012
A film packaged as pure product, aiming to snare the combined markets for loudmouth comics, sci-fi action and, er, Richard Ayoade - who, however seemingly misplaced, is the freshest thing here.
- Guy Lodge, Time Out, August 21, 2012
Lacking the bite of Attack The Block, Stiller and co. are happy to fall back on their usual shtick, with director Schaffer providing barely enough juice to power the laughs.
- William Thomas, Empire Magazine, August 20, 2012
It's a mash-up of blah buddy comedy and gross-out CGI monster splatter, with nary a laugh to be had.
- Peter Rainer, Christian Science Monitor, August 03, 2012
The Watch is a predictable and lazy comedy wrapped around a penis joke occasionally enlivened with some funny lines.
- Linda Barnard, Toronto Star, July 27, 2012
What should have been at least Ghostbusters lite ends up sliming audiences with sloppy seconds.
- Peter Travers, Rolling Stone, July 27, 2012
"The Watch" takes the same ethos of male bonding, obsession with sex and sardonic violence that has proved so profitable in recent years on yet another summer spin.
- Ann Hornaday, Washington Post, July 26, 2012
Improvisation is definitely The Watch-word, with Vaughn and Hill in particular winging just about every line they speak - most of them filthy, few of them funny.
- Rick Groen, Globe and Mail, July 26, 2012
For hang time with the guys, you could do worse than "The Watch."
- Rafer Guzman, Newsday, July 26, 2012
Really, wait for it on cable. At least then you'll be able to change the channel.
- Tom Long, Detroit News, July 26, 2012
The "action" scenes come across as brief, noisy periods of rest from the lame comedy, which counts for something, if not quite what the filmmakers intended.
- Kyle Smith, New York Post, July 26, 2012
By the end you want to mercy-shoot everyone involved.
- Nigel Andrews, Financial Times, August 23, 2012
A career low for everyone involved.
- Adam Woodward, Little White Lies, August 23, 2012
