Sure, MacFarlane, you can make us laugh, but it's time to grow up. Seriously.
- Ben Walters, Time Out, July 31, 2012
Everything goes on too long -- Ted's carousing, Lori's watchful waiting, John's wistful indecision.
- Joe Morgenstern, Wall Street Journal, June 30, 2012
It's a goofy premise pursued with crass -- as well as sentimental -- relish.
- Lisa Kennedy, Denver Post, June 29, 2012
You'll feel the warmth and camaraderie of a Bostonian and his little sentient bear.
- Laremy Legel, Film.com, June 29, 2012
I tried to resist but couldn't.
- Bob Mondello, NPR, June 29, 2012
The idea of a toy that comes to life - and then won't go away - isn't a bad one. Too bad that "Ted" manages to overstay its welcome without ever really coming to life itself.
- Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger, June 29, 2012
As unabashedly idiotic movie comedies go, Ted goes fairly well.
- , Globe and Mail, June 29, 2012
"Ted" is so lazy you want to kick the stuffing out of it.
- Tom Long, Detroit News, June 29, 2012
Underneath the matted fur of the movie's foul-mouthed bear beats a very real heart.
- Rafer Guzman, Newsday, June 29, 2012
The plot is simply a shaky frame on which to hang drug and sex jokes and numerous pop-culture references.
- Joe Holleman, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, June 29, 2012
I expected "Ted" to be a one-joke movie, but it's got ideas spilling out of its seams.
- Kyle Smith, New York Post, June 29, 2012
What began as a promising, if unhinged, experiment in suspending disbelief starts to feel like "You, Me and Dupree" for plushies.
- Ann Hornaday, Washington Post, June 29, 2012
In a universe of Hollywood comedies that seem determined to insult the audience and pander to the basest form of post-adolescent fantasy, "Ted" feels almost sophisticated.
- Andrew O'Hehir, Salon.com, June 28, 2012
The natural interactions between Ted and his beloved man-child owner, John, terrifically played as an adult by Mark Wahlberg, are more often than not ridiculously funny.
- Claudia Puig, USA Today, June 28, 2012
Ted's real trick is turning a one-joke premise into a reasonable facsimile of a movie, and one that isn't entirely bent on grossing us out.
- Peter Howell, Toronto Star, June 28, 2012
For all of its transgressive plush-toy sex and screw-'em humor, the plot is pretty standard stuff.
- Amy Biancolli, San Francisco Chronicle, June 28, 2012
To fully appreciate "Ted," it's best to simply forgive its bad behavior upfront and save any apologies for liking it until later. Sorry.
- Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times, June 28, 2012
I'm betting on Mark Wahlberg for best actor when the Oscars swing around next year.
- Steven Rea, Philadelphia Inquirer, June 28, 2012
Welcome to the funniest comedy of 2012.
- Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune, June 28, 2012
It is funny to watch a teddy bear wail on Mark Wahlberg. But afterward, I mostly felt beat up.
- David Haglund, Slate, June 28, 2012